Gay Marriage - A Fight for Love

I am Gay. Whoa, it does feel liberating to say that. To be honest, I am yet to say that out loud. Yup, I am still in the closet. I am a guy in his mid twenties trying to pursue the American Dream, to be precise, the gay American dream. Before you start judging, let me tell you something about my self. I am from India, right now in America trying to figure out my life.

I am writing this at a very troubling time. It is less than two weeks to the Presidential Election and at this point it seems Mitt Romney has a fair chance of becoming the next President and it scares the hell out of me. Also four states have gay marriage issue on the ballot along with the election. I am not an expert but from my perspective I can tell you that if Romney becomes the President, human rights is going to hit an obstacle that is as stiff as his demeanor.
Don't assume that I oppose Romney for his so called "conservative" principles. I understand where he comes from, as I am from a deeply religious and conservative society in India where people are reluctant to accept the changes that are happening around them. They want to cling to their past and justify their choices by finding excuses from scriptures. They would rather be on the wrong side of history before they accept that they are wrong.
In India people who preach Christianity use to say this, "Please don't look at Christians, look at Christ and embrace him". I am not a christian but I always considered myself to be a pretty tolerant person. But since I arrived here in America my tolerance is taking its toll.
I was in one of the bible states during my last trip this summer and I met so many nice and pleasant people there. If you go for a walk strangers on the path used to exchange pleasantries which put me in awe. I wouldn't say Indians are bad at heart but we don't bother with pleasantries to strangers. The hot weather and crowd makes it really difficult for people to be nice to strangers, everyone just wants to finish their work and go home. Well I was really impressed by how polite people where.

For a bunch of polite people they turned out to be really judgmental. The Marriage Amendment to define marriage between a man and a woman was on the ballot in May and people immediately started taking sides. I couldn't find even a single soul which was okay with giving that right to gays and it did pass with an overwhelming majority. The next day people were again irritatingly pleasant and I figured that I would rather take the rude Indians or New Yorkerers for that matter, who are actually good at their heart than be with people who hide behind their mask of politeness.
Why can't these pleasant people look at their Christ rather than at their Christian pastors who are actually preaching people to be judgemental. Even Obama coming out in support of same sex marriage wouldn't help you much if you were surrounded by people who were willing to deny you the right to happiness.
On my last day when I was questioning my intentions of coming to America if people are going to be this narrow minded, I met this wonderful person. She was a conservative woman in her early seventies, completely independent who was living a fulfilling life. She was actually an Indian woman living in America for the past 30 years. We started talking and there was a wide hatred for Obama all around the place where I was. So I steered clear of sensitive topics as I didn't want to be lectured about politics or conservative ideas on my last day. Because believe me, old souls in India are really adamant about their opinions and will never look at your perspective. But she actually ventured into the topic as she asked me did I like America. I said, yeah people here are really polite.
She said, "Yes they are but I am actually not happy with them right now. I work in a hospital and I see so much hatred in the form of negligence, domestic abuse and sometimes just couples without any love between them. When I see these people having the option of marriage but still not valuing for what it is, it troubles me. I have been married for the past 45 years but I lost my husband 5 years ago. I know what marriage means. Even now in India a woman is only respected if she is married and leads a life of fidelity and respect. I know times have changed but majority of Indian men still don't confine themselves to these same standards. But here I see two men who love each other fighting for a right to marry to lead the exact same life of fidelity and respect. But people are still willing to deny them that because of their misconceived perception of what marriage means. I think these people should look at our Indian society and Indian men should learn from gays here. Me and a lot of my neighbors voted against that awful amendment as we don't want to deny that right to anyone who yearns for it." Even though her ideas were a bit outdated she made sense to me. Eventually I guess acceptance did find me but from a most unlikely source. 

Now in less than two weeks this issue is again on the ballot and I hope people will start thinking about it. Keith Olbermann once said " Your marriage (heterosexual marriage) only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.
And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling.
With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?."
When everyone casts their vote, be it for the presidential election or for gay marriage, I hope people do realize that their vote has repercussions all over the world. Every small step America takes towards human rights will give solace and hope to millions all around the world.