Gay or Straight, You Can Make It in America

One of my friends was really sad and angry with Obama's win. He and me both are at the same stage of our life with almost similar credentials who have applied for a skilled professional job here. He noticed I was happy and said," Dude, you do realize that you and I have everything to lose because of this." I did realize that. I did have everything to lose except one thing. I can't tell him what that was.
Yeah, my future looks bleak, my chances of succeeding in America are going down and it's true that I may even have to drop all my endeavors and go back to India. I am not an American, I had no vote and I had nothing to do with the Presidential election but I feel happy. I feel validated. Because this was a victory for human rights. A man has won, who respects human rights and who wants everyone to have the same rights no matter who you love. He has won in a land where people have started to respect the differences and have started to realize that this is how history is going to roll.

I am happy to be here to see history in the making. All four ballot measures on gay rights emerged victorious. Millions of people in those states setting an example to the rest of America and to the entire world on acceptance. My future may not look good, but the president summed it up nicely about what I should feel, in his victory speech.

"Gay or Straight, you can make it America "

It felt like he talked to me personally. I know I haven't been optimistic or hopeful about my future in the past but now I want to make it in America and I am going to try for it. Thank you Mr.President, though you are not my President literally. But I wish you were. 

I don't know what your reasons are, but You made this world a much better place to live for people like me. 

Are gay men not interested in Equality anymore ?

Though my time in America has been limited, I am left with this doubt. Whether gay men are really interested in Marriage Equality or any other gay rights issue ? I have met and talked with some people and also chatted with a lot of people online. But whenever I bring up issues relating to same sex marriage or any other gay rights issue they are actually not that interested. This may be because I met with the wrong people or the wrong type, but still isn't it our moral duty as a gay man to at least have a bit of passion.
Of course everyone has an opinion but what is missing is the enthusiasm. There are four states with gay marriage on the ballot, but  most of the guys can't even name what those four states are.

Usually guys from New York and Chicago are the only guys that I have talked with. Some say that it is because people there have had a good "gay" life. I thought at first may be it was because they have never been discriminated or bullied. But that is not the case. Every gay person has gone through at least on episode where people have hurt them either intentionally and sometimes accidentally  In most cases, people have gone through even severe bullying.

Why then, is there this nonchalance ? Is it because all these mattered to them when they were in the closet or is it because they were discriminated a long time ago that they forgot. Once they came out of the closet they really cared about these issues but now these are not the impending issues to them anymore.

One guy said Romney is evil another one said,  "sure Obama should win and but what I want is the election to be over soon." These are some of the responses that I got and it will tell you how much people were interested in these issues. And also there are those group of gay republicans who say equality is not a major concern now and there are things bigger than that.

I seriously can't understand. Someone wants to deny you the very basic right of your life, to be considered equal. And the reason they point out is because you love someone and people think that it's not the priority.

I want to believe that this is because I have been hanging out with the wrong crowd but there is a tiny voice in my head that says, even for that crowd shouldn't this be the priority ?
May be Romney should win and once he questions the rights gays already have and starts validating their marriages and relationships based on his church imposed ideals, may be then people will get riled up about gay rights.

Hope and It's Implications

Harvey Milk said,
“I know that you cannot live on hope alone, but without it, life is not worth living. And you...And you...And you...Gotta give em hope.”
 Not everyone has the courage to fight but everyone can hope. Hope for a better future, hope for a life with respect, hope to be considered as equals and hope that someday whom they love will not be a concern for others. But for millions around the world, even hope is a luxury that they can't afford to have. If they do hope, they are considered to be deluded and not in touch with reality. But according to me, hoping for something that is never going to happen in their lifetime is not worth hoping for. Hope is overrated.
I have developed this obsession for the past 8 to 9 months since my first trip to America. Every night before I go to bed I type "Gay Marriage" in google news and read through most of the news articles that come up. Ninety percent of what comes up is from America. I have been doing that almost every day for the past 9 months and I have been following the progress that is happening. Because that is the only relief you get when you are trapped in a place where discrimination and homophobia have an unopposed reign.
It's been less than a month since I am back in America but my hope is slowly dwindling away. When Americans make magnificent strides in gay rights, it gives something to hold on, for the millions tucked away in the many corners of the world. If you do not make those strides and if you are willing to let the stubborn ignorant guys dictate on what your marriage is and what rights you can have, then there is little prospect for progress all over the world.
Please don't give up now, we are counting on you. Start the conversation and vote for hope.

Gay Marriage - A Fight for Love

I am Gay. Whoa, it does feel liberating to say that. To be honest, I am yet to say that out loud. Yup, I am still in the closet. I am a guy in his mid twenties trying to pursue the American Dream, to be precise, the gay American dream. Before you start judging, let me tell you something about my self. I am from India, right now in America trying to figure out my life.

I am writing this at a very troubling time. It is less than two weeks to the Presidential Election and at this point it seems Mitt Romney has a fair chance of becoming the next President and it scares the hell out of me. Also four states have gay marriage issue on the ballot along with the election. I am not an expert but from my perspective I can tell you that if Romney becomes the President, human rights is going to hit an obstacle that is as stiff as his demeanor.
Don't assume that I oppose Romney for his so called "conservative" principles. I understand where he comes from, as I am from a deeply religious and conservative society in India where people are reluctant to accept the changes that are happening around them. They want to cling to their past and justify their choices by finding excuses from scriptures. They would rather be on the wrong side of history before they accept that they are wrong.
In India people who preach Christianity use to say this, "Please don't look at Christians, look at Christ and embrace him". I am not a christian but I always considered myself to be a pretty tolerant person. But since I arrived here in America my tolerance is taking its toll.
I was in one of the bible states during my last trip this summer and I met so many nice and pleasant people there. If you go for a walk strangers on the path used to exchange pleasantries which put me in awe. I wouldn't say Indians are bad at heart but we don't bother with pleasantries to strangers. The hot weather and crowd makes it really difficult for people to be nice to strangers, everyone just wants to finish their work and go home. Well I was really impressed by how polite people where.

For a bunch of polite people they turned out to be really judgmental. The Marriage Amendment to define marriage between a man and a woman was on the ballot in May and people immediately started taking sides. I couldn't find even a single soul which was okay with giving that right to gays and it did pass with an overwhelming majority. The next day people were again irritatingly pleasant and I figured that I would rather take the rude Indians or New Yorkerers for that matter, who are actually good at their heart than be with people who hide behind their mask of politeness.
Why can't these pleasant people look at their Christ rather than at their Christian pastors who are actually preaching people to be judgemental. Even Obama coming out in support of same sex marriage wouldn't help you much if you were surrounded by people who were willing to deny you the right to happiness.
On my last day when I was questioning my intentions of coming to America if people are going to be this narrow minded, I met this wonderful person. She was a conservative woman in her early seventies, completely independent who was living a fulfilling life. She was actually an Indian woman living in America for the past 30 years. We started talking and there was a wide hatred for Obama all around the place where I was. So I steered clear of sensitive topics as I didn't want to be lectured about politics or conservative ideas on my last day. Because believe me, old souls in India are really adamant about their opinions and will never look at your perspective. But she actually ventured into the topic as she asked me did I like America. I said, yeah people here are really polite.
She said, "Yes they are but I am actually not happy with them right now. I work in a hospital and I see so much hatred in the form of negligence, domestic abuse and sometimes just couples without any love between them. When I see these people having the option of marriage but still not valuing for what it is, it troubles me. I have been married for the past 45 years but I lost my husband 5 years ago. I know what marriage means. Even now in India a woman is only respected if she is married and leads a life of fidelity and respect. I know times have changed but majority of Indian men still don't confine themselves to these same standards. But here I see two men who love each other fighting for a right to marry to lead the exact same life of fidelity and respect. But people are still willing to deny them that because of their misconceived perception of what marriage means. I think these people should look at our Indian society and Indian men should learn from gays here. Me and a lot of my neighbors voted against that awful amendment as we don't want to deny that right to anyone who yearns for it." Even though her ideas were a bit outdated she made sense to me. Eventually I guess acceptance did find me but from a most unlikely source. 

Now in less than two weeks this issue is again on the ballot and I hope people will start thinking about it. Keith Olbermann once said " Your marriage (heterosexual marriage) only stands a 50-50 chance of lasting, no matter how much you feel and how hard you work.
And here are people overjoyed at the prospect of just that chance, and that work, just for the hope of having that feeling.
With so much hate in the world, with so much meaningless division, and people pitted against people for no good reason, this is what your religion tells you to do? With your experience of life and this world and all its sadnesses, this is what your conscience tells you to do?."
When everyone casts their vote, be it for the presidential election or for gay marriage, I hope people do realize that their vote has repercussions all over the world. Every small step America takes towards human rights will give solace and hope to millions all around the world.